A Fresh Perspective on Feeling "Stuck"

So there I was, sitting on the couch next to my two best friends when all of a sudden they started doing drugs.

I was a bit scared and uncomfortable. I instinctively knew I couldn’t handle the drugs they were doing and the very thought of it made me feel unsafe in my body. They were cool and calm. I was scared and freaked out. It felt like I was being the typical, uptight goody-tooshoo who was afraid of everything. But then it got really weird...

They started hurting each other while smiling at me like everything was fine. I wanted so badly to be cool with what they were doing because they seemed to be fine with it, but I could hardly take watching them destroy each other so I got up and walked away feeling upset, betrayed and flustered.

Then I woke up.

That was all a very strange dream I had last week. The emotions from it stuck with me all day and I was perplexed as to what it all meant.

As part of my inner world development practices, I write my dreams down, process them and then try to interpret them. Countless books, mentors, writers and creatives all suggest the practice of recalling, writing and interpreting dreams. I’ve been practicing this for a few years and while I have no way of confirming if I’m any good at it, I have at least developed the wonderful habit of writing and reflection first thing in the morning.

So to solve this little mystery dream, I did all the things. I practiced each type of dream interpretation and processing that I know and still I couldn’t understand what the dream meant. Not only that, but the emotions seemed to be haunting me. I was deeply curious as to what this meant and to be rid of the emotions from the dream that were still lingering. I think we’ve all had dreams that just ‘feel’ more important than others. This was one of them.

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We do lots of ‘series’ of artwork in the groups I run. So for example, each member might make 4 different art pieces and then we’d process one a night until we got through all four. Sometimes when we process them one-at-a-time we get a ton of information, understanding, and breakthroughs just from one piece of art. Other times, it feels like something’s missing. When this happens I usually find movement by putting the one art piece back into the collection of all four and suddenly we see a completely different message appear. It’s amazing how putting the pieces together can change our understanding of each one individually.

This week, one of my groups is preparing their 4th image in a collection. Everyone is stuck. They are all perplexed why the other three came together so naturally and the 4th is a mystery. So what do we do? We walk through the story of the first three to put the fourth piece back into its context to see what emerges.

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I went to bed the next night unable to find the interpretation of my dream.

Over the next few days I had two more dreams. The second dream involved close friends again. We were hanging out and enjoying each other on a cozy night and while most of it was just calm and lovely, there was an element out of place that made me feel uncomfortable. It wasn’t as severe as the first dream but I had another theme of being uncomfortable while trying to play it cool.

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In my third and final dream I was once again with a friend. This time we were comfortable. There were strange elements in the dream but I had found a way to stay comfortable in myself within the dream and I woke up with just a happy memory of an old friend.

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I wrote all these down but didn’t know what to make of them. As I went about my day I had a moment where pieces of conversation, things I’ve read recently, the dreams and an understanding all converged and BOOM! A light might as well went off over my head as an understanding of the dreams came to me clear as a bell.

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This is what I learned:

• I could never have fully understood the first dream without having the second two dreams​
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• The details of the dream were distracting me from the bigger picture; I was trying to understand the dream too literally and thus missing the message

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• Dreams are stories. Story-telling is one of the oldest and most profound ways of communicating important truths throughout history. Each dream told a little story just like each art piece can tell it's own story. When we're stuck, it may be because all the pieces need to come together to tell a much different story.... See below for a visual example of the peices coming together to build a new narrative.

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FINAL DREAM Understanding: What it felt like after my "BOOM!" All the pieces come together to tell a different story.

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I’m going to leave you with the same thing my groups and I have come to appreciate together during this round of art-making, processing and obtaining clarity…

If you’re going through something right now that just doesn’t seem to make sense or the way forward seems blurry, it may just be that you don’t have all the pieces yet. We can sometimes evaluate or problem solve our current situation ad nauseam without the results we crave simply because the other pieces are missing or aren’t all coming together yet.

When we problem-solve our issues out-of-context, we accidentally become hyper-focused on the details and can miss the obvious, bigger picture. It’s not a popular answer but sometimes the best thing we can do when we feel stuck is to relax.

When we relax into ourselves in any given situation we allow our bodies, brains and souls to offer up the missing pieces more easily. When they are offered up it’ll feel like a big “BOOM!” of understanding. It’ll all be so much more simple and clear than it is now.
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Lastly, if you’re looking for insight, breakthrough or clarity in your life right now then I encourage you to learn the language of storytelling. Your inner world and the invaluable wisdom that lies within is most often communicated and understood through various types of storytelling; art, images, thought narratives, dreams and so on.

If you’re new to storytelling, check out the free resource at the end of this blog post for a guide on Inner World Development through Storytelling. It’s a great place to start.

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Tonight, we hear the end to one of our groups’ stories while another group figures out how to create their final art piece. To all my groupies, we’re on the edge of our seats! To all our friends in the community, we’ll let you know if it turns out as well as my dream sequence.

In the meantime let me know how it’s going in your inner world, I’d love to hear from you.

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See you in a group,

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Jesska Layne Herfst, MAPC