A Mark of The Game Changer: How Loops Lead to Your Biggest Breakthroughs
"What if all of this is what it took for you to remember who you're here to be?"
There’s always that one thing—that one struggle, one pattern, one deep frustration that follows you no matter how much work you’ve done. You think you’ve conquered it, and then… BAM. There it is again. Different situation, same loop. I know, because I lived in one for years.
Back Here Again? Why Your Hardest Patterns Repeat
The Loops are everywhere, from the micro to the macro; from my life to clients to the world at large. So buckle in, we're going to face it head-on together.
My loop started with an audacious desire. Eight years ago I sold everything, left the city I'd been born and raised in, said goodbye to an established private practice, to friends and family, and began a new chapter in my life.
My audacious desire was to accomplish a type of mastery; I wasn’t just trying to get better at my craft—I wanted to master it. I was in love with this idea, enough so to take risk after risk to pursue it. I thought that if I could just get it right, this new way of life I envisioned would just fall into place. I sought a level of living that I had only tasted- but knew deep down was possible. But what I didn’t see then was that mastery isn’t just about skill—it’s about who you have to become along the way.
What I didn’t realize as I set out on this epic adventure, was that I wasn’t just chasing mastery—I was stepping into a loop. One that would take me further than I ever imagined before I’d finally break free.
Hold Up- What Are 'Loops'?
Have you ever felt like you’re running laps in your own life? Like no matter how much you learn, shift, or grow, you somehow end up back in the same damn place? You’re not crazy. You’re in a loop. And here’s the truth: Loops aren’t failures. They’re a part of a much bigger storyline- they are invitations to keep going. They are the build-up to the wildest, most meaningful transformations.
Loops are patterns that keep repeating. It's usually a deep experience we can pinpoint as one of our main issues. Loops are usually rooted in solving a repetitive problem that's preventing us from achieving something important to us. When we're struggling, the loops lead to our peak frustrations. When we finally break free, they catalyze our biggest transformations.
Is 'The Loop' In The Room With Us?
I've often sat with others who know they have a loop, it's a huge part of their life but they struggle to identify it clearly with language. I've recently helped several clients put language on their loops- one read it and said he cried tears of joy. Another said 'I know I've been working on this for years, but seeing it in plain language felt like shining a light in a dark room, it's so much easier to move through this cycle now'.
So if you feel like you have a loop, here are some key signs to help identify it.
- a repeating struggle, a cycle that repeats in your life
- deeply rooted in a desire
- usually revolves around solving a specific issue, ie resolving an area of suffering or obtaining a desire
- often spanning a longer period of time
- most prevalent in people doing the 'work'
Loops have layers, they are our teachers- thus these patterns go deep and can seem impervious to surface-level attempts, sheer force, or desperation to solve quickly. They respond only to the deepest transformations. Loops are not ordinary challenges, although they might appear so at first.
Why You’re Stuck in the Same Cycle (And What It Really Means)
Loops, as frustrating and painful as they can be, are a sign of life.
The original desire that starts the loop is often good- it's the catalyst for our growth. It's the call to adventure (like in The Hero's Journey, see below), it gets us to move.
People who struggle the most with loops are usually the people most actively engaged in evolving their inner worlds, in pursuing their calling, in striving for the light- these people (consciously or subconsciously) agreed to the adventure of playing their note. It is a mark of the Game Changer- and thus, you should take heart if you find yourself identifying.
When I agreed to my own journey, I had no idea what lay ahead. Up to that point, I had faced big challenges, I had accomplished everything I intended, I had overcome, I was confident, I was full of faith and excitement. I thought this next step was simply the part where I learned how to fly. Instead, the deeper I went, the further away my end goal seemed. Everything I knew and loved was challenged.
What I thought was going to be a wild year of adventure turned into eight years. For the longest time, I thought I was simply failing over and over again; that I was somehow regressing, I wondered at times if I was cursed- I tried to fight the loops in every way I knew how. Other areas of my life continued to grow and prosper, but this one thing that meant the most to me kept 'looping'.
The Hero’s Loop: Why Some Journeys Take Longer
This is the Hero's Journey by Joseph Cambell. The steps in the Hero's Journey aren't literal, you'll find many different versions online. The key is that there's a process. It's an archetypal roadmap for the spiritual awakening and development of heroes in all the great stories. You've seen this played out in famous tales such as:
- The Hobbit
- The Alchemist
- Harry Potter
- The Lio, The Witch, and The Wardrobe
- Homer's Odyssey
- Wizard of Oz
- Dante's Inferno
- Don Quixote
- Hunger Games
- Siddartha
- Jane Eyre
- Alice in Wonderland
- Interstellar
- and countless other classic and modern tales.
It suggests that there are general themes that arise on a 'giant loop' of transformation. These epics are journeys of becoming. They are never resolved in three easy steps, one special kind of meditation, or a week with a guru. They are deep journeys that radically transform the main character, the Hero, and often span a significant amount of time. These are our favorite tales to read, woven into our collective consciousness for thousands of years, and then lived out individually when each of us decides to take the call in our own life.
It starts with the desire, like an adventure, and soon turns into something far more encompassing.
The Loop You Can’t Escape (Yet): Why This Struggle Keeps Coming Back
Most people think transformation is a straight line: Work hard → Learn the lesson → Move forward. But real transformation? It moves in loops. It repeats itself. It drags you through the same lesson over and over—until you see what you’re meant to see- until you become who you're meant to become.
As you see above, the loops move us through the process. Each step in the Hero's Journey is accompanied by the loop cycling through. The names of the steps might look a little different for each person, but the idea is the same. The time it takes to get through the whole Hero's Journey is filled with the process of going through our personal loop over and over again.
Stuck or Transforming? The Truth About Breaking Free from Repeating Patterns
If you’ve ever said, ‘I thought I was past this’ or ‘Why does this keep happening to me?’—I need you to know something: You are not broken. You are in a loop. And loops exist for a reason.
Two and a half years ago, I hit my 'Dark Night of the Soul' season. We lost our firstborn child. Not all loops need to have that kind of experience, but mine did. By then, I was very familiar with my loop, I knew where I was on the journey, I had help surrendering to the process, and now...
I'm pregnant again. I was thrown into the final boss battle of loops earlier this year as I mustered up the courage to keep going with this process.
And now, the end of this 8-year journey has arrived.
What I understand through this process—what took me years to see—is that loops aren’t signs of failure. They aren’t proof that you’re stuck. They’re proof that you’re transforming. Seeing this took so much of the weight off me; it was the key to keep moving, to keep going when I thought I was defeated by my Dark Night of the Soul 2.5 years ago.
I was comforted then by the very nature of the loops as I realized that great stories, great people, Game Changers; those who intentionally or unintentionally play their note in one of the most unique times in history- those who shape the worlds around them, don't get there by chapter after chapter of easy, quick, and comfortable.
Loops are the places where our deepest frustrations meet our biggest evolutions. And if you’re feeling the weight of your own loop right now, you’re not alone. You’re exactly where you’re meant to be.
The only question at each and every juncture is—will you keep going?
Stay Tuned for Part II
"Genius is finding the invisible link between things"
VladimirNabokov
Doors are opening for Mastering the Loops, and if this resonated, I’d love for you to be part of it. No pressure—just an invitation.