Facing the Shadow Self: Choosing the Truth

Facing The Shadow Self

The Battle of the Loops is ultimately over our identity. It's a long process of working through our not-self while slowly figuring out how to choose our true self. The length and depth of this process is indicative of it's great importance; how we understand ourselves is the story we'll live out. If you’ve been fighting patterns that feel like sabotage, looping through what you know you’ve outgrown, you're not broken. You're growing the inner muscles needed to know the clear difference between your shadow self and the truth. You’re being initiated.

This is the work of the Game Changer.

The Loops refine a critical aspect of the Game Changer's work. When engaged and worked through, these long trials reveal who we are, who we choose to be.

You are here at this specific time on the world stage to be exactly what and who you were created to be- NOT

• who you were programmed to be by others,
• not who trauma and failure taught you to be,
• not the shadow self you had to survive in-

but your truest self. To uncover these gems, your gifts and the courage to live them out require (the inner) work. This inner work often takes us all through the wild ride of the loops.

Thus, our efforts are to ultimately uncover, release, and fulfill the unique and truest creation of who we're here to be. We believe that the most powerful thing we can do for this unique moment in time is to play our note- as fully and fiercely as possible. By doing so, we heal ourselves and the systems around us.

Game Changers aren’t here to be less of themselves. We’re here to become more. But that path runs straight through the shadow.

THE SHADOW SELF & THE NOT-SELF

The Loops are often so tricky because they contain elements of our true selves mixed in with our shadow selves. Our shadow selves are sometimes so familiar, so embedded, that it becomes difficult for us to differentiate them (at first) on our own.

This is how I would define the Shadow Self:

• The version of us created by trauma, conditioning, and survival
• It mimics safety by hiding our uniqueness
• It feeds fear-based loops: fear of failure, rejection, being "too much," “too late,” “not enough”, "bad", "broken", "unlovable," etc

The Game Changer can’t bypass the shadow. We must meet it, name it, and choose again—because our loops don’t just trap us, they teach us. The Shadow Self will always be an option, a temptation if you will. Thus, this isn’t about ‘killing’ the shadow. It’s about discerning what’s not true and reclaiming what is.

The loops build our inner world muscles to understand, to discern, and to choose the True Self intentionally. It's the deep process of undoing what isn't ours and gently becoming all that is- a type of radical responsibility for who we are and for the gifts we've been given.

To know, discern, and intentionally choose between the Shadow Self and the True Self is a skill that will only grow in value and will reap exponential benefits as we exercise it.

The Path Back to You Starts with Trusting Yourself Again

The Loops are often so painful because they represent seasons of failing ourselves (or others) over and over again. They're filled with experiences of self-sabotage, self-destruction, or feeling like we failed, no matter how hard we tried. We feel stuck in a burning desire to change and are faced with a looping cycle where we get our asses kicked too many times by the same theme or problem.

We begin to doubt ourselves. We lose our confidence. Worst of all, we feel like we can't trust ourselves anymore.

Thus, when we finally learn to choose the true self over the shadow self, when the loop loosens its grip, when we pass through the portal of this initiation, we must learn to trust ourselves once again.

Living out our True Self will require the (extremely vulnerable) skill of trust, which often looks like this:

• Trusting our intuition when logic screams otherwise
• Trusting our timing when the world pressures urgency
• Trusting our path when it will inevitably look different from what we thought or from those around us

"People often misunderstand how ruthless intuition is. The purpose of intuition is to redirect you towards truth, not to appease your feelings. In that sense, intuition can be pretty ruthless. Yet when we learn to trust it and act on it, it becomes liberating" -M. Walsh

This is a maturation process. It's a remembering.

It takes grace to try again when we've failed before. It requires forgiveness of ourselves and others- to let go of the record of the past and walk into a fresh story. And it takes a childlike kind of courage to trust our God-given internal faculties when the world taught us not to.

It doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be another step toward the real you.

ANCHORING TOOL – JOURNALING

Almost every client I work with says the same thing: ‘Just five minutes of journaling can change my whole day.’ It creates space. It breaks the loop. It's a simple tool to actively build those inner world muscles, training them to discern between the Shadow Self and the True Self.

All acts of genuine self-care, especially those you know help put you on the path you want to be on- not the one you default to in times of stress or doubt- rebuild our self-trust.

So if you’re in the shadow, in the loop, in the doubt—try these. Be honest, not perfect.

Journal Prompts

• What parts of me feel like survival-based versions of myself?
• What do I believe about forgiveness? What would it look like to forgive myself or receive forgiveness for past failures? What might be different if I accomplished this?
• What does my true self sound like when he/she speaks?
• What would it look like to honor my own timing in life, at work, in the healing process?
• If I believed I was meant for this moment, what would I do next?

For those of you who have been doing the art prompts, where do you see the shadow self in your art? Where does the true self show up? Where do they seem to overlap, unclear, or entangled? Practice observing this part without judgment or solutions.

Your True Self Is Not Optional—It’s the Assignment

"Maybe the journey isn't about becoming anything. Maybe it's about unbecoming everything that isn't really you, so that you can be who you were meant to be in the first place" - Paulo Coelho

Game Changers are such because we exist together, doing this work, in a specific collective moment. You're meant to be here, in this place, at this time, with your struggle and your gift.

This isn’t just about you. This is cosmic. To play your unique note in this moment in time, you must first hear it—and that only happens when you clear out everything you were never meant to carry.

We must face our own Shadow and learn to choose what's true before we can do it with the power and resilience needed to accomplish the same in the world around us. We need Game Changers who are willing to walk this path—not because it’s easy, but because it’s essential.

Inner evolution creates outer revolution. It starts with us.

This is just the beginning.

🌿 Ready to Go Deeper With This Work?

If this stirred something in you, there are three ways to step into the next layer of transformation:

✨ The Collective – A soul-aligned community for new travelers on this path. Try the work, meet the others, and feel what it’s like to be witnessed in your becoming. Join here →

💍 The Union – A private group for couples ready to navigate their personal and relational evolution together. Deep work. Real conversation. Shared growth. Explore the Couples Intensive →

💼 The Circle – For founders, creatives, and visionaries ready to lead from the inner work that upholds all the external strategy. This executive cohort is where performance meets purpose. Apply here →

This is sacred work. You don’t have to do it alone.

Reach out anytime with questions: jesska@laynehugh.com