Playing the Hand You're Dealt: How to Flourish In Hard Times
This mini-series will help equip Game Changers everywhere to stay safe, expand in the toughest of times, and Flourish regardless of circumstances.
We all encounter unavoidable hard times.
"Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but sometimes, playing a poor hand well" Jack London
Some of the most admirable characters in history are ones who knew how to play a bad hand well, not the other way around. The grand march of time will serve us the opportunity to meet these incredible opportunities, disguised as hardships, to evolve in a way nothing else can orchestrate.
When these seasons arise in our personal lives, businesses, or the culture at large, we have to play the hand we're dealt. Knowing how to recognize these difficult times, adjust, and play well can make a heaven of a hellish ordeal.
This mini-series will help equip Game Changers everywhere to stay safe, expand in the toughest of times, and Flourish regardless of circumstances.
Unavoidable Hard Times
In my coaching relationships, I work with brilliant people navigating the difficult hands they've been dealt. I ask my clients and associates for a deep sense of transparency and intimacy, so it's only fair I use myself as an example when necessary.
Now is one of those necessary times.
"We are all broken. That's how the light gets in" Hemingway
I've not hidden the more vulnerable parts of my story on this platform. At the end of 2022, my husband and I lost our only son in childbirth. It was a tragic blow, one that would take me on a journey that changed my identity and life trajectory. To cope with the flurry of emotions like shock, guilt, shame, fear, and grief, I developed a wishful belief that the rest of my life would be kind to me, that I had already paid my dues in losing my son, and that therefore nothing else difficult would be asked of me, at least for a long time.
This was not the case.
"Let me fall if I must fall. The one I will become will catch me" Baal Shem Tov
After our loss, more changes were on the way. A cascade of life-altering events ensued after, far from the easy path I thought might come next. Big changes rippled through my life like dominoes. Things I worked hard to build were suddenly out of my control, from my business to my body, even my community, and then to our final big move- a cross-country relocation. I realized again and again, that this is a marathon, not a sprint.
The original trauma changed me forever, but it was the ripple effects after, the far-reaching wake of the original explosion that caught me off guard. As this story progressed it became clear that I wasn't just grieving the loss of my son, I was grieving the loss of my old self and the world as I knew it.
"When a version of you ends, so will the connections attached to it"
It's not that I've never been through anything difficult before, it's not that I hadn't experienced trauma before, but this time was different. This felt like the ultimate test of what I believe, and the process I lived by. It challenged everything I knew about playing a tough hand.
Here's the thing about unavoidable hard times: they are not fair, they are not easy, and their very nature means that you might not get through it well. Difficult times present us with a heavy "make-it-or-break-it" choice that doesn't arise in one moment but rather spreads itself out over a season- like a marathon for the soul.
The world dealt me a massive blow, with no breaks or miracles to the rescue, with no coddling or easy wins afterward. I'm not all the way through it, I may never be. It's still not easy. There may be more blows to come.
However, I can already see the fresh muscles of hard-fought change (literally and figuratively) and I have the fruit of my response to unavoidable hard times: a life rooted in love, in beauty, and in strength, with my team by my side. The process I lived by served me well, and it can help us all with what lies ahead.
Bad hands are dealt, but the way we respond makes all the difference. The seeds we plant in the process are what cause us to Flourish when the seasons change once again.
"What is done in love, is done well" Vincent Van Gogh
The aftermath and far-reaching effects of big moments take their time as they ripple through our lives. This happens in our businesses, in our generational families and it happens in whole countries.
We are not living in vacuums. We are not exempt from the powerful energy arising from massive transitions, their ripple effects, and the far-reaching consequences of big things happening all around us.
A Word About Hard Times
Hard times are not personal.
Hard times are not to be feared.
Hard times are like weather; we all wish for gentle sunny days but storms, droughts, and unfavorable conditions are just part of the planet we live on.
"The earth school is the most difficult in the universe. Only the bravest souls sign up for this assignment"
Hard times are just part of living in this unique time and place in history. While I support all efforts to avoid unnecessary difficulties, the truth is we will suffer. Regardless of our circumstances, as unfavorable as they may be, we are always left with the choice of how to respond. These choices shape our destiny, and they shape the future of our world.
The Hand We're Dealt
We are headed into a hard time as a collective.
We will all have to accept the hands we are dealt.
We will be faced with make-it-or-break-it seasons in our businesses, our families, and our country.
We will learn to handle the big moments, and we will prepare for the unexpected ripple effects that take time to move through our lives.
We will grieve an old way of things falling aside, while we figure out who are as communities, as people, and possibly as a world moving forward.
"It's one thing to say 'don't be afraid', it's another thing to have a strategy on how to deal with the enormity of it. Put your energy into the strategy, not the fear"
There is a strategy to get through hard times.
It will take time, stamina, and a real process to get through to the other side, not just as survivors, but as Game Changers, who know how to take difficult circumstances and transmute them into fresh gifts, untapped genius, and pure energy for the seasons of rebirth that follow hard times.
"You best start believing in ghost stories Ms. Turner, you're in one!" Pirates of the Caribbean
Whether we like it or not, we are being faced with difficulties ahead. We have two general options on how to respond:
We can wake up to this reality, face it with a plan, and transform ourselves in the process
OR
we can bury our heads in the sand, get caught in constant reaction, and become victims of being dealt a tough hand.
The choice is ours.
For those who choose the former, stay tuned as we walk through a mini-series of How to Flourish in Hard Times.
