Summer Self-Care: Back to the Basics
In times of big change and transition, the basics of self-care cannot be neglected. As a group, we continue to face a big year ahead. We loom on the edge of great change, transition, and unexpected realities.
By the time you are reading this, I'll be halfway across the country, moving my whole life from the cool sea breezes of Northeast Florida to the dry burn of the Sonoran Desert. After ten years of being gone, I'm en route for a fated return.
Transitions and Self-Care
It was 110 degrees when I arrived. A giant dust tornado blew by in front of us, I glanced at my husband and said 'It's not too bad today'. I saw a guy from the UK compare the desert heat to hell in a great panic. Being born here, my body remembers how to live in the summer temperatures already. Weather that reminds others of hell is the least of my worries. Major life transitions, however, no matter how perfectly planned, are a cause for concern. Especially this one. There is no avoiding the stress-inducing experience of moving, much less moving for a purpose that has no guarantees. Schedules are out of whack, change is emotional, the unknowns are enhanced, and things always take longer and pan out differently than imagined. The heat I can take, but change and transition can overcome even the best of us.
My early desert years were lived out in an intense mission with my family until I left almost a decade ago. From an early age, we were around all sorts of crises, trauma survivors, and situations that required high levels of functioning to serve others. Our whole worlds were embedded in inner world development; I lived in the inner world as much as the outer. However, despite the intensity and familiarity with this lifestyle, many situations would arise where we would enact the 'now is not the time' protocol. Let me explain.
Now Is Not The Time
'Now is not the time' started as nurturing boundaries from my mother and sister. It's now a common-place strategy within my closest circles.
'Now is not the time' would be used during transitions, breakups, illness, crisis, big changes, or even during menstrual cycles. It's a 'pause' on existential questioning, deep digging, or trying to go too far 'in' when the body is already maxed out.
For example, when I was younger periods of intense stress would cause me to get sick. Confined to my bed, under stress, and in physical pain, I'd become more emotional and want to 'process' big things with my sister or mother. In those situations, they'd say 'now is not the time'. This began to mean, 'you need to eat, sleep, relax your body, or take a break before going deep again'. The phrase is a call to not ignore the basics of self-care, it's a reminder that going 'in' can be inadvisable when the basics are not strong enough to hold the powerful processes of the inner world.
I've had similar situations with clients. There'll be times when they haven't slept or have pushed too hard for weeks on end, or just had to attend to a crisis themselves, and in those moments 'now is not the time' doesn't mean we can't talk or have support, it means there needs to be an immediate focus on safety, stabilization and self-care.
The trek across the country brought up many instances where I had to coach myself in this way. I could've flown, I could've skipped the long drive and been planted immediately in my new surroundings. But I knew I needed to go slow, to let my body process this moving from one life to another. It wasn't the easier route and there were many times when the stress of transition would creep up on me. My temptation was to over-process with my husband, to ask big questions, to try on different perspectives, but I know my limits better now. I know that the deep emotions of this change were already keeping my body working hard to stabilize. I knew 'now is not the time' to go too far in.
Instead, I focused on what I would have told someone else to do: go back to the basics of self-care.
I went slow. I gave my body the best food I could find, I prioritized sleep, I gave myself quiet moments to just be, I listened to things that would nourish my soul, I moved my body and let it release tension, and I was kind and gentle with myself.
Was I perfect? No. But focusing on the basics of self-care should not be underrated for Game Changers. To do inner world work well, to play our note, and to live out the fullness of our designs, we have to care for our vessels.
Game Changers, we're in it for the long con. Burnout sucks. Overstimulation, lack of rest, poor diet, and lack of sleep tax our inner worlds, cloud our judgment and eventually impede our performance.
The body is our vessel and our deepest partner on our journeys. There is no great performance, no incredible inner world transformations, no great (r)evolution without our body's incredible partnership. Our bodies are key to the power of our transformations, our gifts, and our ability to love and lead. They are instrumental in us playing our note (pun intended).
In times of big change and transition, the basics of self-care cannot be neglected. As a group, we continue to face a big year ahead. We loom on the edge of great change, transition, and unexpected realities. This kind of environment can make us feel rushed, scared, or maybe even unworthy- whatever it is for you, let this be a clear reminder that the basics of self-care are a safe zone, a necessary foundation and you are not selfish or foolish for slowing down a little to incorporate them.
The process of inner-world development is like being in two worlds at once. During times of great transition, it's easy to let go of the basics. I'm writing this to you as much as I am writing it to myself; this is a call to stay the course on some of the most important aspects of our self-care this summer.
The pressure of the world is going to grow stronger for a while still. You will do yourself and everyone around you a great service by taking the time to care for yourself properly. When you wake up to the knowledge of who you are and what you've been given, you learn to accept the responsibility that comes with it; deep love, care, patience, and discipline.
And for all the times we all drop the ball, there is grace and a tomorrow filled with more chances. There are seasons where we glow with consistency and seasons where we must let go and come back to it when life allows. Thus, I mean this in the most beautiful way possible: there are no excuses. Do what you can do now and do it with as much joy and ease as possible.
You're invited to join Alice In No Man's Land for a new episode. I've asked the thinkers, storytellers, and those who dedicate their life's work to asking big questions to delve into the process of answering these three big ones for all of us:
And What's Our Role in the Story?
These interviews are about exploring fresh perspectives. It's not about being right or agreeing on everything. It's about staying light, being curious, and engaging new ideas.
Alice in No Man's Land, is just that; a space that might not be very common, popular, or aligned with all the defined camps of thought. No Man's Land is a place to take a break from being certain and 'right', it's a place to wonder and be filled with wonder. When we are free to explore without judgment, we have more space to decide for ourselves what we believe and who we want to be in this incredible time in history.
What we believe about the story changes everything.
Stay Safe and Keep the Faith, Game Changers