The {Unexpected} Path To Everything We Want To Be

When I was young, I was quite weird with food. It seemed foreign to my adolescent brain that I should have to take time out of my day to eat. I preferred to stay lost in my activities and when I did finally force myself to take breaks to eat, I found the whole activity more of a chore than the natural lifestyle most others displayed.

Doctors weighed in many times, all suggesting the same eating thing: 5-6 small meals a day, 'frequency is key' they'd say. I'd accomplish the suggested 5-6 small, balanced meals in a day, feeling very proud of myself. Then the next morning, the shocking realization came that I had to repeat it all over again. Deep down, I had somehow assumed that once I nailed a solid day of eating, I should be good- I should be healthy and done with this for a while. In protest, I would say "I already did all that, why do I have to do it again?" My older sister, upon hearing me express these thoughts, would respond with:

'Who told you that you wouldn't have to do things every day, like eating, to stay alive? And who said you'd like it? If you don't want to pass out, you have to eat every day, this should not surprise you."

Big Dreams, Big Process

I have clients who have big dreams. They run businesses. They change industries. They have a deep desire to be a brilliant source of light in a world of darkness. There's a saying with parents, that once you have kids, they'll show you everything in yourself that needs work. You don't have to ask, they'll just show you by being alive.

Leading a company is similar, just with more imminent financial and legal implications. Like parents and business leaders, those who are pursuing their path will have infinite opportunities to develop the inner world, and they will run into cold hard walls again and again when they resist this part of development.

At times, clients will act a bit like I did with food when I was younger. They'll begin to ask 'How long do I have to keep working on myself?', 'When does this process end?', 'Why does it always feel like there's more work to be done?'

To which I now reply:

"Who told you this would be easy? Who told you that you wouldn't have to work hard at this, for years, maybe a lifetime? Who told you that one good go at (eating or) self-work was enough to sustain you forever?"

How Long Do I Have to Eat Everyday?

Similar to business, and my childhood food issues, the process of being healthy in general elicits this response in many people.

"How long do I have to eat clean to lose weight? When will this workout be over? How long do I have to stay on this healthy diet? "

And yet, when you meet someone with a fit body or incredible capabilities, they don't think like that.

Those at the gym who look incredible, no longer think in terms of 'how much longer do I have to keep working out?'. Working out is their therapy, their joy, their culture, their lifestyle. It's a part of them. It gives them way more in return than the hour a day they give to it- they understand that for every investment they make in this journey, it's paying them back 10-fold. They age better, they sleep better, they feel better, they perform better, they are healthier, and they are becoming who they want to be.

People who have cured themselves of cancer, reversed their aging process, people who can live without pain in their body every day, or perform incredible things like surfing, or yoga or sports- don't wonder how long they have to keep eating healthy or when they can stop taking really good care of themselves.

"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself" D. H. Lawrence

The Answer: For Life

So when my client asked me last week 'how long' he has to continue this kind of work I replied 'Whether it's with me or someone else, whether it's this specific work or some other method, the answer is 'for life'.

I used to feel bad for clients who struggled through the inner world process. I know personally how dangerously difficult it can be at times; even though all great things require deep difficulty. For some reason, the inner-world development process seemed optional. It's not when you're after the best outcome. But I don't feel sorry for anyone anymore- myself included. It would be like feeling sorry for me as a child because I thought it was hard to eat every day- when I didn't need pity, I needed a reality check.

I don't feel sorry for them anymore because I know this with certainty: if it's tough enough to elicit pity, then they are on the right path. When we say we want freedom, money, success, brilliance, peace, healing, love- we forget what it costs all the greats before us to accomplish those same things. So if it feels like it's super hard- I feel confident for them. Because anyone willing to go through the process to obtain what they want is worthy of the reward on the other side.

We become a match for our purpose, our calling, and our greatness through the process it requires to obtain it.

It starts with the picture of who we want to be: the picture of freedom, success, love, health- but the path is often unexpected. We realize we have to 'eat every day' to get there. This is what it's like with most people and the inner world process. Many of us didn't know this was part of the necessary development to reach our goals, our dreams, and our truest selves. And now, after doing this for over 15 years I know without a doubt that it's not just 'part of the necessary process', it is the core of all important change, developing and true 'becoming'. It is the unexpected, albeit, glorious path to all we wish to be.

It's Tough but Glorious

If you want the whole package, you don't get to quit developing yourself. If you want to be healthy, there's no end date to eating well and taking care of your body. If you want to release your gift in this world while you still have time on this planet, then there is no excuse of old age, money, loss, or constraints- it'll never be convenient, it'll never be risk-proof, it'll never be easy-peasy all the time.

I'm not a fan of working on ourselves just to wallow in our past or to be self-absorbed in all our labels and traumas. The 'work', the absolute wild path or inner world development, is best used when you are willing to find out who you are, and what you're here to do and then learn to do it with everything you've got. To use your gifts, to live out your calling, to be the person you know deep down you're supposed to be, you're going to need to develop your inner world.

If you're committed to carrying out your gifts and service in this world, your development will never end.

So yeah, that can sound like an anti-sales pitch for the process. But that same client who was asking 'how long' also told me later that week that:

• he's never felt more alive in his life
• he's blown away by how well he's able to lead his team now
• he's experiencing a wild confidence in becoming his true self, not some exhausting version he thought he had to be
• and that he didn't have words for how powerfully this process has changed him, and he's ready for more

The Glory

I watch person after person wake up to who they are. I get to hear them talk, with tears in their eyes, about levels of beauty, wonder, and love they've never felt before. I get to watch as their lives turn into adventures. I watch parents as business owners achieve deep connections with their partners, become present father figures for their children, break generational curses, and end legacies of abuse, poverty, and neglect. And yeah, when the time is right, I get to witness them become wildly successful in the outer world as their creativity, leadership, and gifts get recognized. I watch Game Changers suffer through the inner world development process, yes, but I've also seen repeatedly that what is gained on the other side is always worth it.

This is the truth about the inner world development process and all those who find themselves questioning 'how long' or 'when does it end'. The inner work:

• gives more than it takes, it sustains more than it drains, and all paths of development, success, health, love, and spirituality eventually lead 'in'
• is life-giving work. Without doing that which nurtures life we by default chose the process of slow decay- which is death
• will always come with resistance because the inner world contains the possibility of being directly connected with Truth, and the Truth will always set us free

"By 'happiness' I do not mean worldly success or outside approval, I mean the inner consciousness, the inner conviction, that one is doing well the thing that one is best fitted to do by nature" Edith Sitwell

It's not always easy, but the benefits far outweigh the sacrifice and to avoid the work altogether is the most costly path for us.

That said, there are things you can do to ensure you're not making it harder than it needs to be:

• surround yourself with the right people- groups, friends, colleagues, anyone who understands and can make the path less difficult
• get a coach, a guide, someone who can help you move through the tougher spaces and expand in the lighter seasons
• stay encouraged; the soul needs good food just like the body. Fuel yourself with the right stuff, it matters
• Live now; stay light, just because it's hard doesn't mean it can't be fun. Find wonder, laughter, and beauty everywhere

"No matter how isolated you are, no matter how lonely you feel, if you do your work truly and conscientiously, unknown friends will come and seek you"