The Weight of Waiting: Part II of the Loops

Becoming Something New Happens in the Waiting

One person may easily achieve health and wellness but be stuck in a loop with their business. Another may find that a business is a breeze, but is on a loop with their marriage. It's never the desire or the problem itself, it's the layers of tripwires specific to us embedded on the path to achieving our desire. These tripwires become the deep catalysts for our unique growth. The tripwires are also what turn this process into a full-blown loop.

I went through many seasons of the loop.

In the beginning, I took risks, moved towards my goals with ambition, and approached the tripwires in my loop with enthusiasm. I hacked away at every problem with gusto. I'm a quietly persistent person- some might say stubborn- so I kept going with all the energy I had, applying strategy after strategy, discipline after discipline. I was determined to quickly overcome the invisible tripwires that seemed to reset the loop every time.

The Tripwires That Create the Loop

These tripwires are what we understand as blocks, blind spots, and repetitive behaviors that loop over and over, allowing some progress toward our goal, but keep us from that complete transformation- the feeling of finally crossing the finish line and being done with this old experience. This dissatisfaction turns into frustration, and intensifies from there, often becoming a deep core issue we wrestle with in our most difficult seasons of growth.

These tripwires might be unexpected requirements such as:

• overcoming addictions or self-destructive habits
• healing from the effects of abuse or trauma
• building new beliefs and a new tolerance of both good and suffering
• letting go, releasing old ways, changing the way we think and feel
• being honest with ourselves, seeing parts of ourselves more clearly
• becoming something new, breaking generational patterns

Loops are connected to things we really want, so we start hacking away at the issues the tripwires reveal. We try new strategies, and we go at it in the ways we know how. And then the most challenging ingredient comes in: time.

The Most Painful Part

If you've ever done the gut-wrenching work of cycling through your loop—the pattern that won't let you go—then you already know: it's not the bumps of the loop that hurt the most.

It’s the waiting. It's the amount of time we're in this pattern that begins to mess with our heads.

The waiting is brutal.

You’ve seen it. Felt it. Maybe even screamed into a pillow about it. The loop has surfaced again, but this time... you know what it is. You can name its parts and process. You’ve done some of the work, the healing, the releasing. You thought that you were done with this so many times before.

But here you are. Still here. Still in the loop. And it feels like nothing’s moving.

This is the part nobody talks about enough.

After my first few rounds with the loop, the time it was taking to change this specific pattern began to fill me with doubt. I went through a season of wondering, 'What am I doing wrong?'- I was convinced I must be missing something. I drained myself of energy trying to find the answer to this question. Finally, this dead-end thought process was beaten out of me through another long waiting period where I slowly got the message that the 'wait' was somehow part of this. I began to understand that I had to surrender to the timing of this process, which was the worst answer I could have hoped for at the time.

The Loop Isn’t a Failure—It’s a Furnace

Why the Waiting Hurts

The most painful, tricky loops are the ones that feel like they've gone on far too long. This looks like loss upon loss, failure upon failure, attempt after attempt, just to feel like you've barely moved the needle in this area, or worse, you're somehow further behind.

Time plays mind tricks on us, and the loop has now become bigger than the original issue; it's a little monster all of its own- unsolvable and festering. Some loops can last for years.

We like to think transformation is linear: "If I do the work, release the story, heal the wound—then the breakthrough should follow, " Right?

But real loops don’t respond to checklists.

They respond to becoming.

Most of the time, the deepest block isn’t external. It’s not about getting more money, clear-cut success, the perfect partner, or getting all your habits and strategies perfectly executed every day. The block is the threshold version of you who doesn’t fully believe you’re ready to cross over.

And in that space between clarity and becoming, there is silence. Nothingness. Stillness so deep it aches. We mistake it for failure. We call it stuck. But it’s something else.

It’s gestation.

There's a reason for the pace of the loops; there's a perspective that can help make sense of why it seems to take so long or go so slowly. There's a bigger story at play. Understanding this piece helps us move through the seasons of the loops with less resistance, more grit, and reduces so much of the unnecessary suffering we can incur in the process. The right perspective can revive our souls when we're in the exhaustion of it all.

The “Hold the Line” Season

The 'waiting' created a season in life where I had to keep showing up despite no signs, no confirmation, no outer proof of the transformation I felt I had worked so hard for—yet I felt the steady whisper of keep going.

The loop hurts the most right here—not because it’s failing, but because the internal change is actually happening. It's the pain of the internal evolution before the outer revolution we crave.

The longer the loop runs, the more sensitive we become to it. Every delay feels personal. Every pause feels like punishment.

And yet, this is often where the most profound inner shifts are happening. Silently. Invisibly. Cell by cell.

You are not repeating because you’re weak. You are waiting because something sacred is anchoring.

It’s not punishment. It’s preparation. It’s a new frequency settling into your bones.

When nothing appears to be moving, everything is changing.

Your Loop Is A Portal

If inner evolution happens before the outer revolution, then the loop becomes a strange portal through which we evolve internally first, before seeing or touching or relishing in everything we want.

The desire that started it all may seem simple; finding love, being healthy, financial freedom, breaking generation patterns, overcoming self doubt, poor boundaries, addiction- whatever it is, we can become so focused on how obtainable it should be and forget what kind of truly incredible ripple effects that outcome will have in outer world.

There are so many realities we can't see or touch or hear, especially when we're deeply locked into our own experience.

We forget there's a spiritual reality. We forget we're a link in a long-standing generational chain. We forget 'Earth school' is the hardest challenge we may ever pass through. We lose sight of all that we're actually overcoming every time we don't give up and ride the loop again.

What if the silence isn’t the absence of progress—but the proof that progress is taking root somewhere deeper than you can see?

What if the wait is sacred?

The pause is not passive. The loop is not inert. You are becoming something you’ve never been before, and your system—your nervous system, your spiritual structure—is calibrating.

Sometimes, it’s not about pushing through.

It’s about staying in the room.

Why You’re Not Meant to Loop Alone

Here’s the truth that changed everything for me:

Loops are healed in community.

There’s something profoundly disarming about being witnessed inside your loop. When someone else sees it—not with judgment, but with love and language—you stop feeling like a glitch in the system. You start to feel like a story still unfolding.

In the last few months, I’ve seen this again and again with clients. When their loop was named—out loud, clearly, gently—it softened. Suddenly, there was movement. Clarity. A breath of fresh air.

You don’t need more pressure. You need a witness.

You don’t need to push harder. You need resonance.

One Final Word (Before We Go Deeper)

If you’re here right now—if your loop feels like it’s stretching into eternity, if you’re questioning everything, if you’re waiting and wondering if you’ll ever feel free...

Please know: you’re not stuck. You’re transforming.

And sometimes, the only thing left to do is hold the line. Let the sacred pause do its quiet work.

The next part of this story is coming.

But today, maybe the bravest thing you can do is stay in the room—and let someone hold it with you.

Stay tuned for Part III.

P.S. If this hit a little too close to home… good. That means the loop is moving.
And if you’re ready to not go it alone anymore—stay close.
Mastering the Loops is open.

We have a mini-group option- just drop your email and I'll send you info and next steps. This is great if you just want to try out the work we do and get a taste of how our unique process + group work can help you through your loop.

We have intensives coming up in May 2025, late summer, and fall. These are great for people who are ready to jump in. We'll have a marriage/partner intensive this year as well for those of you who have been asking! Stay tuned for great events all year.